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How to Be a Politican Part 1
Read more about: Munster 
Many people wonder how to become a politican. What skills do you need. So in a more then likely a one post series I hope to show you how to become a politican by examples of some of our leading politicans. From Senator Alan Kelly
Just to get something off my chest. It is incredibly unfair to see the extent to which rugby fans are being ripped off by airline companies ahead of the Heineken Cup final in Edinburgh.
One of Munster and Leinster (The Southern Province hopefully) will be playing yet it will cost you €560 odd euro to fly from Dublin to Edinburgh return over Saturday on Sunday whereas on the Monday when there is no game on, it costs a mere €30.
The same applies with flights to and from Shannon which typically cost about €30 but for the game will cost €490 approx. That is reckless profiteering by airlines on the back of Irish sports fans. Cllr Gerry McLoughlin is in full agreement on it and I would never like to get into an argument with him.
So the Lesson to learn is that you pick up some random bug bear and talk about it.
But also to make sure that you reference something in the post that makes you look cool and in touch with the common man.
Gerry McLoughlin is a former rugby player so what he was doing was making a joke about fighting rugby players and name dropping that he knows someone famous because rugby players are now awesome so by extent he is awesome. You might think you can’t learn these skills but you can. Heres how
In this post Senator Alan Kelly says.
Anyway on to the match, you will be seeing me there at Croke Park no doubt. I’ll be waking up in Dingle that morning but will be in Jones Rd in plenty time for kick-off. Have to make the usual calls to sort out tickets.
Whether or not these tickets could be considered unsolicited political donations is beside the point. Munster is cool as shown by his Gallary having pictures of him at the Heniken Cup final
The trick is to pick something that’s a concern of the common man, i.e. rugby, to show your in touch with the common man, and then blow it completely out of proportion, to show you care about the common man, even when the country is falling down around your ears, to show that you’re never too busy to listen to the common man
So how can you be like Senator Alan Kelly. I suggest a post something like this.
The same applies for number ones and twos which typically cost about 0c at home but at the shopping mall 20c approx. That is reckless profiteering by shopping malls on the back of Irish peoples bowl movements . [Insert name of someone hip and trendy you know like a rugby player, Barack Obama or Rosanna Davidson] full agreement on it and I would never like to get into an argument with him/her.
MMmmm one major flaw with your somewhat tenuous stream of thought Simon is the mark up point being made in Alan’s post.
Therefore the point actually being made with your somewhat crude nonsense is that instead of paying 20c, you would now pay €3.80. But don’t let the facts get in the way of an (ahem) argument.
bertie did make a career out of being in touch with the common man, if your point is to deride Alan Kelly im not sure. It is an excellent point and a problem everyone on the doors will recognise.
If your point is Irish politics rewards the politician who speaks to those local concerns and does the most for them then fair point but success at politics is different from being a politician those who, like Bertie, developed an entire back room dedicated to fixing pipes, getting people in hospital beds etc., have had runaway success. As such Kelly is untested, yet to get elected to the national office where we would call him successful and on the run for that office.
It is somewhat lamentable that those concerns always top elections and Keith posted recently about changing the electoral system. I know folks who have had to go to crazy lengths (like I am sure you do) to get to an away game. Or people who couldnt get a sold out train ticket to croke park and found ryanair charging 300 return for a day trip to an all-ireland.
Yeah its supply and demand but it is also gouging.
One of the biggest issues at the moment in the EU is the joining of Turkey. Many politicans across Europe are trying to stop this on the basis that this is a nation with a massive Muslim population. This is a continuation of the continuing rise of Islamophobia in the West something that we as an Union need to debate and talk about it. So what are Alan Kelly’s thoughts on it? I don’t know he doesn’t mention it at all from what I can see.
Or what about the EU relationship with Europes last dictatorship on our borders with Belarus. Should we take a harder or softer line? What are his thoughts?
Or Russian antics with Gas pipelines in Ukraine. What actions should Europe be taking collectativly to deal with that?
China has know civil rights abuses but is a massive market for jobs and economic growth. Do the EU compromise our beliefs in human rights for jobs? What does he think about that?
Free trade for third world countries or more subsidies for farmers. What are his thoughts on that?
These are the types of issues that the EU needs and is talking about and if he is elected will be talking about on Munsters behalf. But does he tell us where he stands on these issues?
No he doesn’t I expect because Turkey could alienate people in Ireland who are scared of Muslims and rather then confront these issues he’d rather ignore them. Also subsides for farmers? No way is anyone in Ireland from the left getting into an argument pitting third world farmers versus Irish farmers. In the present climate suggesting doing anything to damage jobs is a no -no as is agreeing with human rights abuses so thats ignored. etc etc
So what do we get instead from Senator Kelly? non-controversial stuff about Munster rugby tickets trying his darnedest to seem like a common man rather then actually talk about and try to get people to think about an issue they are not sure about, taking a stance on an Issue that some people might dislike you for. This by the way is called leadership. I am sure he thinks Obama is a great role model for a politican and Bertie terrible, but he is certainly more Bertie then Obama. Would Obama give out about Bears tickets
So instead of European issues we get from Senator Kelly
GAA players association
http://www.alankelly.ie/blog/2009/04/01/gaelic-players-association-campaign/
http://www.alankelly.ie/blog/2009/04/06/nenagh-ae-the-end-/
Nenagh A&E
http://www.alankelly.ie/blog/2009/03/14/the-fight-for-mallow-hospital/
Mallow hosipedel
None of the above he will have much power to sort out once in Europe. But that is what he tells us about on his blog. That is the stuff he wants to “have a conversation about”. EU elections are always about the government in power in the country the election is held. It is never about the actual policies that they will be actually debating. The reason is people Like Senator Kelly play Politicking by numbers.
So if he can do it why not anyone, why have and express an opinion on EU-Russian relations when you can complain about the price of taking a poo in a shopping center and offend and alienate no one.
Oh Simon, how could you!
Criticising Alan Kelly, who’s variously:
Labour’s ‘coming man’
Potential future leader
Silk-suited socialist
A politician for ‘our times’
A friend (by fraternal proxy anyway) of Hilary Clinton amongst other international celebrity politicians of whom, no doubt, the good Senator will make much mention as time goes on and his career plan advances apace.
Having nothing of substance to say – and Alan Kelly has nothing to say beyond self promotional gibberish – has never been a deterrent to advancement in Irish politics. Anyway, it’s ‘de rigueur’ in the Labour Party these days, from the top down. Watch this space: Alan Kelly will go far.
Unfortunately, Simon, there are very, very few newspapers who would carry Alan Kelly’s thoughts on Turkey’s entry to the EU, or how we should deal with Belarus.
And, from my experience, very few voters who would care enough for it to affect their vote either.
Kelly is doing what politicians have to do to get elected – talk about the things their voters care about.
Unfortunately, Simon, there are very, very few newspapers who would carry Alan Kelly’s thoughts on Turkey’s entry to the EU, or how we should deal with Belarus.
Surely that is the prefect use of a blog. If it gets into the newspaper what need for the blog? The blog could be used for bringing up topics like the above.
Kelly is doing what politicians have to do to get elected – talk about the things their voters care about.
And that is why the level of political debate in Ireland is what it is. Because politicans always play the parish pump card and that is all the voters get to hear about.
I dont know weather he is a politician, actor, self esteemed man, script writer, honest/dishonest, critic, con/man, or all, but there is one sure thing about him he is one hell of a bu– sh—-r