Missing Persons Report – Martin Cullen and Dick Roche

Irishelection.com has begun a new service on bringing you reports on missing politicians. First tonight we are sad to report that Ministers Martin Cullen and Dick Roche have been reported missing.

Martin is of short stature (check out the shoes), clean shaven, fond of the words ‘integrated transport’ and averse to mentions of electronic voting. One should approach him with caution when mentioning the latter. He may be particularly upset at any mention of the Tara Motorway project given that he was involved in a photo launch before the archaeologists put the stop to the digging.

Dick Roche’s disappearance is particularly unusual given his recent forays to the west to bring fresh water or (claim to have provided for fresh water but nobody turned on the tap) and also his fondness for lecturing the public at length on their environmental behaviour on the national airwaves. Roche’s fondness for the lovely girls has seen him make regular appearances on Blogorrah but he has been missing from the national scene since the beginning of the election campaign.

Leading the search for the missing ministers is a concerned Eamon Gilmore who this morning issued a plea for information on their whereabouts and a safe return to the public airwaves.