Fantasy Concession Speech 3

Again Hag of Beara wonders what if she was speechwriter for a losing candidate – this time for Mary Lou McDonald.

” I knew that white suit was a mistake. Gerry told me it made me look like a first communicant and it would go down well in the northside. Well, it didnt- they’re a godless lot in the inner city. Oh gawd, I cant face Brussels again. Once you’ve been to the oyster bar, had your frites and a piss weak beer there’s not much else to do. And yer one, is up in Belfast with her ministerial position and all deciding the future of the 11 plus while I sparkled, smiled and behaved with beatific munificence- ( is that how you say it Gerry?) and what do I get? A weekly seat on Ryanair flights to Charleroi- cos thats all I can afford, having spent my yearly average industrial wage on this bloody suit!

Where did it go wrong? I shook hands till I nearly got RSI , listened to auld ones go on about “dem blacks”, positioned meself close to the leadership, took evening classes with Gerry on the economy from that book by Pablo Freire and I’m still up a Belgian shit creek. For gawdsake, somebody get me a box of Leonidas I NEED chocolate!