From Bertiegate the Album

The Arse-end of Ireland presents… The Bertles!

Help! I need some money!
Help! Not just any money!
Help! You know I’m not fussy, help…

When I was younger so much younger than today
I needed random businessmen to help me pay my way
But now those days are gone and I’m thrice as self-assured
Why won’t these cunting Paddies respect their overlord?

Help me if you can I’m feeling down
(Though I’m grateful for McDowell’s coming round)
Why’s that Rabbitte acting like a hound?
Won’t you PLEASE, please help me?

Read the rest of the excellent lyrics here.