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The Doorstep Challenge
Read more about: Blogging, Corruption, Irish Election
You know what, I’m finally starting to understand how to speak “politicianese.”
When it comes to election time, and you hear a candidate say, “All I’m hearing on the doorsteps is… blah,” what they really mean is, “All my party wants to talk about is… blah.” While you’re at it, throw a few more blahs in there for good measure.
Wouldn’t you love to know what people are really asking?
Well, given that the Blog O’Sphere is a virtual doorstep of sorts, let’s all hit the mute button on Corrie, tell the dog to stop barking, and answer our virtual doors to those who in the very near future will become very eager for our attention.
“Hi there, thanks for stopping by. Nice rosette! Let’s see… where do I begin… If elected/re-elected into Government, what will you and your party do about…
- the Health Service?
- improving standards in schools?
- rising house prices?
- law and order?
- road safety?
- e-voting?
- TDs’ attendance in the Dail?
- TDs’ accountability?
- meeting the Kyoto protocols?
- meeting our 0.7% promise for foreign aid?
“I’m sure I have more, but I wouldn’t want to take too much of your time, so why don’t you get started on that lot?
“Well?”
And what about proper planning that says if you get planning permission for a certain number of housing units that a site must be apportioned for the schools at an early stage so that its ready for the new students when theyre needed …….
and how about timber framed housing thats quicker and cheaper for first time buyers ???
we dont want to hear that politicians best friends the developers dont like timber … get over it, give the punters what they want cheaper houses now…….
Wouldn’t you love to know what people are REALLY asking?
With a little work left to do, im pretty sure irishelection will be answering that in the near future.
Don’t forget the old political lexicography:
“Several constituents have asked me…”
-One old fart in the pub mentioned something vague about this
“My office has been inundated with calls about…”
-The phone rang twice about this today. It was probably the same person both times.
“My inbox is jammed with emails regarding…”
-I spotted the words in between something about enlarging my manhood and an exciting new stock opportunity
“My constituents are up in arms and out on the streets about…”
-Three people have now been in touch about this, and I’m getting worried about my seat
And so on
I’m seriously, seriously considering recording any conversation I have with candidates knocking on my door in the near future, partly to freak them out, partly to have a solid record of the promises they make and partly for fun…