Fantasy Resignation Speeches 2

The speech is a fantasy but not the the resignation!

Hag of Beara sent this in …

Friends, Ranelaghians, Countrymen, lend me your ears because you certainly didn’t give me your votes. As any reputable L&H man would do, I prepare now to fall on my sword. As a Democrat I respect the views of the electorate, even those who have been hiding in the long grass. Last night I dreamt of Rooskey, where I will  retreat to ponder on the meaning of life and campaign to imprison careless duck hunters. This phase of my public life is over but with the help of my wife, an academic pundit much-loved by RTE I shall consider the opportunities for a comeback and to that ends intend to seek advice from Michael Jackson.   But for now, justice is in the hands of the gods where once it was in my fists. The gangland bosses, the illegal immigrants, the 10 year old social misfits, the poor, the hungry, the unwashed, have for now- a reprieve. I am reminded of my great hero Michael Portillo and so know that out there somewhere over the rainbow is a place for me on reality TV. And as they say- it aint over till the fat lady sings, and she’s too busy representing Dublin Mid-West. *spit!*